Dawning of a New Day

It's over... for real this time, for keeps, no doubts, no take-backs. We had "the talk" Monday, and it's Wednesday now, and the screaming in my head has stopped. I am sad... but I'm also excited, and I'm no longer slogging through a depression that began at the beginning of the month and was growing increasingly desperate until finally coming to a head with our breakup.

It was overdue... if you've read all these entries, you know I saw the writing on the wall long ago. The thing is, I wasn't strong enough all those other times to take the step to ending it. I don't feel strong right now... I'm kind of back to being vulnerable like after my ex-husband left, though it's not so gut wrenching or helpless... but for all my sadness or vulnerability, I know that leaving him in my past is right. I know it for sure now. I couldn't have married him... it's like the hockey player or what my marriage became... not good enough now to make it something lasting. It was time to give up when I just couldn't keep hoping anymore.